Every dude will tell you that they fapped hard during their teenage years and probably still do today. Well, the truth is that relationships and even marriages sometimes just come and go leaving you with a dick in the very hands you started with. And that’s probably because we ain’t even half as lucky as these bitches who have a cunt bean to flap or even multiple of options including fingers to fill up their want soak holes.
When it comes to the idea of purchasing sex toys; whether it’s the popular Fleshlights with quality backings or any other kind, men will shy away from buying them regardless of whether it’s from online sex toys platforms or physical shops. Bearing this in mind, I’ve got you with more than just a few simple ways of building yourself a homemade pocket pussy to make your fapping sessions even more delightful.
What’s a goddamned fleshlight?
Fleshlight one of the top selling male masturbation tool or should I say, a sex toy. It mostly consists of an outside case shaped like a large flashlight, and an inner insertion which comes in a variety of colors, orifices, and internal textures & ribbing styles. A fleshlight can be found in numerous sex toy stores, either physical or online. However, if the prices are rather unfriendly for your pocket or you are just too shy to make a purchase, you can always turn to the simple homemade ones below.
Homemade fleshlight basics
There are three basic components of any homemade Fleshlight; the frame, the inner lining, and the filling. For the frame, you can choose between an empty soda bottle, a tennis ball can, or some toilet paper roll cardboard core, among other options. As for the inner lining, you can use a large condom or the cheaper latex glove. And lastly, for the filling, you can always opt for an insulating foam or a smooth sponge. In addition, you will need rubber bands to secure the loose edges else you will end up hurting your weenie.
There are various types of homemade Fleshlights or homemade men’s sex toys, some of which are synthetic while others are organic food based, for example; watermelon pussy or even the banana one. And with tons of ideas being borne every day, it’s only wise to consider only the best, which luckily for you I have compiled below.
Well, this one got me thinking that we all have that lone wolf old sock tucked in somewhere and this might be the time to let it rest in some sticky peace, don’t you agree?
Requirements; old sock, i.e. one that suits your penis size, a latex glove, some rubber bands or an elastic fabric hair tie, some lubricant.
- Place the latex glove inside the sock so that it aligns in the interior nicely.
- Simulate the vaginal ridges by leaving folds in the latex gloves.
- Secure the ends by rolling the wrist edge of the glove.
- Tie the sock with a rubber band or hair tie.
Cucumber pussy (best for beginners)
Girls’ have been using this magic veggie for god knows how long and frankly, it’s a fucking privilege to join the goddamned party! Come on, man, it doesn’t make you a bitch!
Requirements; room temperature cucumber, a sharp knife, duct tape, rubber bands and probably a condom
- Slice one thin end of the cucumber; choose one that suits your size.
- Slice it into two equal halves lengthwise.
- Open the cucumber up and remove seeds from both sides. Once the seeds have been removed, take out small amounts of cucumber flesh until both sides fit snugly around the penis
- Once the preferred tightness is found, secure with rubber bands to keep the desired tension
- Wrap the cucumber with insulation tape or Duct tape. At this point, the user can accommodate any tightness preferences
- If preferred, a condom can be placed inside the cucumber. To do this, insert the condom before duct-taping the halves back together.
- Stretch the condom rim over the cucumber edges and fold back.
- Even though the cucumber will feel wet, lube is important as it will not remain wet for long.
A towel is the one thing any household never lacks y’all, and even thou cleaning them can be mad shitty am sure it’s the fucking warmth is fucking priceless which is exactly everything you’ll be looking to achieve here.
Requirements; a hand towel, a latex glove, and elastic bands or belts.
- Fold the small towel into quarters, probably four depending on your size
- Place the latex glove on the quarterly folded towel with the cuff hanging off one side
- Roll the towel around the glove. This will take practice, as too tight a towel will result in difficult and to some extent frustrating penetration. Conversely, if the towel is too loose, there is no friction. Try rolling it several times to find a good fit.
- When the preferred tightness is achieved, secure the towel with rubber bands or a belt, to prevent its unfurling.
- Peel back the glove cuff so that it covers the towel edge
- Place extra belts or rubber bands along the length of the towel to create tension.
Mrs. pepsi soda
Am sure you have been over a dozen ways to recycle bottles, but, I wouldn’t be too sure that you’ve had a knock out on this one!
Requirements; a large plastic soda bottle or empty tube of soda/juice, two household kitchen sponges, duct tape, latex glove, sharp knife, and probably a Bubble wrap/ rice or sandwich bags.
- Cut the bottom from a soda/ juice bottle. And place several layers of Duct tape over the sharp plastic edge to avoid any cuts.
- Make a glove sandwich with the sponges. Lay one sponge down, place the glove on top, and then place the remaining sponge on top.
- Pull the glove cuff out, so that it hangs over the edge of the sponge
- Push the glove sandwich inside the soda bottle, so it is level with the opening. There should be no gaps, and the sponges should squash together.
- Pull the glove cuff apart and slip it back over the rim of the container, so that the edge is completely concealed.
- Tape it securely into place.
- For texture, place squares of bubble wrap on top of the sponges before they are pushed into the container. Alternatively, use rice filled plastic sandwich bags.
The birthday pussy
Why let those birthday balloons go to waste when you can fuck your breath out of them? Now follow my lead and let me show you how.
Requirements; four balloons, a latex glove, container bigger than a Pringles tube that will fit four partially inflated balloons, such as an inner bathroom bin bucket, duct tape.
- Place the balloons inside the container with the inflation holes hanging outside.
- Blow air into the balloons.
- Place a latex glove into the middle of the balloons, with fingers pointing inside, and the cuff protruding from its top.
- Blow up the balloons to the desired tightness, and tie the ends to stop air from escaping.
- Tape the tied balloon ends onto the outside of the container
- Cut the ribbed cuff from the latex glove, as this enables it to stretch.
- Stretch the glove cuff out, pulling it over the balloon ties, and down the container edge so that the opening is smoother.
- Tape the cuff into position.
A silicone pussy
For starters, it’s a rather simple ingenious sort of pussy probably for those who have messed up with the rather basic ones and is looking to advance. Now be my guests:
Requirements; a candle bigger than a penis, sharp knife, silicone sealant.
- Measure the penis width and length against the candle.
- Draw markers into the candle, ensuring that it’s 25% smaller than the measured penis.
- Cut off two sides of the candle lengthways at the 25% mark
- Cut off the remaining two sides to create a solid rectangular shape.
- Smoothen the sides down so that the candle resembles a cucumber, being careful to keep its girth at least 25% smaller.
- Cover the candle in silicone sealant, probably half an inch thick.
- Let alone for a couple of weeks to give the silicone ample time to dry.
- Remove the candle after achieving the desired size and probably keep it for future silicone pussies.
- The remaining mold is the pocket pussy, and while it can take several attempts to get the correct size, trust me; it’s totally worth the effort and is reusable.
Well, no pussy means that men have got to get creative otherwise they’ll keep fapping their cocks sore every time. And thank god the internet is filled up with ideas of how to improvise a pussy using materials readily available at home to improve their experience. As usual, I pick from the chaff to give you the best of everything, and I can only hope that the above hacks come through for y’all somehow!