There are no answers cast in stone when it comes to sex. Not even from experts, clinical or otherwise. You know this because every time you want to talk about sex, there are always tons to talk about. At The Porn Dude, I like giving you tips to tap into your sexual potential and know how to make things go your way when it comes to your bedroom.
While anal sex is as ‘mainstream’ as it has ever been (just try searching for anal in any random porn site), there is still plenty of taboo surrounding the topic. Because of that, many are not getting the necessary information required to prepare for this kind of sex and actually have a wonderful time while at it because it is very much possible. If you don’t want to be blindsided, here are a few tips that will go a long way.
Lube is an absolute necessity
Maybe in your short sex life, you’ve never seen the necessity for lube. If there is a time you absolutely, positively need to start using lube, it’d be when trying out anal and every time you do anal. Unlike the vagina, your rear end does not self-lubricate and no matter how excited you are about trying this new experience, keep that in mind.
There is every reason for you to use lube during anal, but the most important is; it lessens the friction and makes the experience less hurtful. Without lube, you might get tears in your anus, some that you might not even know are there increasing your risk of STIs and other viruses and bacteria. That one is pretty obvious.
Understand your body
Like you may have noted, your anal canal is tight. What you may not know is that it has thousands of nerve endings and can give you loads of pleasure, mainly because most of them are found at the opening. But going from having nothing inside there to a fully erect penis might make the experience painful. You may start by training yourself to have something in there. Start with your finger or two to have a taste of the experience. Gradually move to butt plugs and thin sex toys. Think of it like a warm-up. This way, you will be used to the sensations of having an object inside, and you will be able to better communicate with your partner about what works and what feels like too much. Also, you might want to use lube for this one too.
Use a condom
It doesn’t matter whether you are in a monogamous relationship; using a condom is a really great idea when doing anal. There is the issue of anal tear, and sometimes that risk is there even with lube. A condom is also necessary for hygiene because as one friend told me, you have to expect some poop when it comes to anal. I regret telling you this, but he was right. This is to be expected really. You have your partner’s penis deep inside your ass plus the back and forth movements; stuff is going to be moved around. A condom will go a long way.
Prepare your space
You want to do it in a comfortable place, so take your time to prepare. You might want to have a towel or two since there is going to be a lot of lube going round because, in its slippery nature, lube tends to go everywhere. In any case, accidents do happen, so it’s good to have a towel handy.
Be in the mood
In order to make anal sex as comfortable as possible, you need to relax. Breathing will help your muscles, but most importantly, you need to be aroused. You see, your anus is surrounded by a ring of muscle called the anal sphincter, designed to keep in feces. You need to be absolutely relaxed to let anything pass through it. Some say that having an orgasm before anal sex helps you relax, so get down with yourself or seek some help from your partner.
When you are eventually ready for penetration, the best thing is to go slowly. That’s why it’s absolutely important to trust the person penetrating you. Relax, so you don’t tense your muscles and cause discomfort or pain. Your partner should penetrate a little at a time, stopping to help you get used to the new feeling. There is zero need to rush after all.
Positioning is key
You have to look for a position that gives you the most comfort and control. Sitting on your partner’s lap is a good idea. Many sexual experts recommend the spooning position. Doggy style is also perfectly suitable for penetration but if you can’t see your partner’s face, how are you going to know how they are feeling? You also have to be in a position where you have control over the speed and depth of penetration.
Like with every other form of sex, the most important thing is actually to be excited when experiencing it. Don’t do something because your partner wants you to. If you don’t feel comfortable doing it, take a moment to decide whether you really want to have this experience — all the best.